


A Pokemart Clerk

by AlolanSilverDoe



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Nuzlocke Challenge, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2020-06-24 17:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19728592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlolanSilverDoe/pseuds/AlolanSilverDoe
Summary: Entering the Kalos League is practically a rite of passage in the region, but Sam chose to spend her summers working at the local Pokemart instead. Twenty-three years later, a combination of temptation, peer-pressure, and poor impulse control sees her finally starting her journey. Sam’s setting out to prove a point, but the one watching her the closest is herself.This is a story based on a nuzlocke playthrough of Pokemon Y. However, unlike some nuzlocke stories, this one won't contain any character death. Any in-game fainting will be represented through other means.





	1. Chapter 1

The crowd went wild as the Greninja sprang over the charging Haxorus in the nick of time, and the sound finally attracted the attention of the two trainers lounging on the couch. One of them fumbled around in the cushions until she found the remote and jabbed the volume button. The audio faded from blasting to its usual white noise. 

Sam let out a sigh of relief and stopped rapping her fingers against the register. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Five minutes until closing time. Fortunately, the two trainers seemed to realize that at the same time she did because they rose from the couch, displaying the forethought to turn off the tv first. They separated once past the seating area; the girl headed out the glass doors into the main lobby while the boy walked up to the counter. 

“I need a thirty-pack of Full Restores,” he said as he pulled out his trainer card from his back pocket, glancing down at the display case in front of the register. 

Sam recognized the kid. He’d been there for nearly a week already, training in Victory Road with the few other trainers around during the off-season. She’d just sold him a thirty-pack of Max Potions the other day.

She barely had to bend down to retrieve his items; she had just restocked the bigger potion packs earlier that afternoon. “That’ll be 120, anything else I can get you?”

“Uh, yeah.” His eyes didn’t leave the display case as she scanned his items. “I’ll take a rare candy or maybe….” He trailed off, squinting at the second shelf. His lips moved a couple times - counting. Sam waited, fighting the urge to resume rapping her fingers on the counter. At last he nodded. “I’ll take two rare candies, gotta be ready for the challenge.” 

He had an upcoming match then; she hadn’t been keeping up with the schedule but at least that explained the thirty-pack. Sam took the candies from the display case - she was about to close up anyway - and scanned them as well. “That all?” 

He nodded and she rang up the new total. “160.” 

He handed over his trainer card and she flashed it through the reader. The amount cleared, the money would be withdrawn from his account, and she handed it back along with his purchases. He tucked the box of Full Restores under his arm and grabbed the bag with the candies, giving her a brief nod as he strode away. She watched him go and then sighed. She needed to take a look at the schedule; with the off-season drawing to a close, there’d be a lot more challenges crammed into the next couple weeks. She’d need to make sure they had enough bulk packs. 

For now, she ducked into the storage room to grab a replace the items he’d bought and grabbed a box of Ultra Balls while she was at it. In the couple of minutes it took her to lug them back to the counter, it was time to close, but just before she reached the doors to the lobby, they slid open and a girl darted in. 

“Made it!” Shauna announced to the room, breathless. Her eyes lit on Sam and she beamed. “Hey boss! I’m so glad I caught you, I have the most amazing news, guess what I’m doing this summer?” 

Sam felt herself starting to smile, as tired as she was. Once, Shauna’s constant cheeriness had driven her to exasperation, but time had accustomed her to the teenager. Sam moved back to the counter. “I don’t know, joining the police.” 

Shauna giggled and shook her head; her light brown pigtails kept bouncing as she followed Sam with a skip in her step. “Nope, guess again.”

“Becoming a fashion model?” Sam stacked the new Full Restore pack with the others and slid open the display case. 

“I’m gonna be a trainer!” Shauna bounded around the counter and scooped up an armful of Ultra Balls to help restock. Her endless energy had its uses. “I registered this afternoon! My friends convinced me to do it this year, we’re gonna travel _all_ around the region together, catching and training Pokemon! It’ll be a blast!” 

Pretty much every teenager in Kalos became a trainer at some point, so the news didn’t exactly shock or thrill Sam, but she tried to inject some enthusiasm into her voice all the same. “That’s great.” 

Shauna bobbed her head in a nod and continued restocking the shelf. “Yeah, I mean, I’m not really battler, you know, but having Pokemon’s gonna be fun anyway and I’ve always wanted to see more of Kalos, especially Shalour City! It looks so _gorgeous_ , have you ever been?” She paused, looking at Sam for an answer. 

“No, I’ve never been to western Kalos.” Sam placed the final few Ultra Balls and kicked the empty box out of the way. 

A frown flickered across Shauna’s face. “Really? But, didn’t you ever do the League Challenge?” 

Sam cringed inwardly, a sigh threatening to escape her. She supposed she’d been lucky to avoid the question during the five months Shauna had been working part-time. She was old enough now that most teenagers probably assumed she was, like many adults in the region, a one-time trainer who hadn’t made the competitive cut. She settled for the simplest explanation. “I wasn’t really interested.” 

“Oh.” Shauna stepped back from the display case so Sam could lock it. “You are a trainer though, right? There’s Deidre.” 

“I’ve got a catching license for her, but it’s not for battling or anything beyond catching the one Doduo, really.” 

“I guess that explains why she’s the only one I’ve seen,” Shauna said as she went to perch on the back of the nearest couch. “I’d wondered about your other Pokemon, I always thought you had the rest of your team retired somewhere else.” 

Sam shook her head. “No team.” So far, Shauna hadn’t asked why Sam had never taken on the league, but she sensed the question was coming. “So, what friends are you traveling with? They all taking the challenge too?” 

“Three of us signed up, me, Liz, and Kate. Liz is serious about battling, she actually wants to win, but Kate’s like me, she just wants to train Pokemon and have fun. We’ll probably battle some too, though, to keep up with Liz and cause it’s fun, even when you’re not that good at it.”

Sam smiled and leaned against the counter, folding her arms in front of her. "Sounds like you'll have a good time then."

"Yeah.” Shauna tilted her head again as she studied Sam. “You know, you could still do it." 

Sam started to shake her head, but before she could speak, Shauna pressed on. "Come on, I bet you'd be good. You live in the League Castle, you see battles all the time, training battles and real ones, you're friendly with the Elite Four so you could pick up tips from them, and you're good with the trainers' Pokemon that come through here. Besides, I know you'd have fun." 

Rather than bother refuting the teen's points, Sam focused on the last statement. "Oh yeah? How do you know that?"

"Because" was the girl's reply. Then, when Sam rolled her eyes, Shauna grinned and added, "First of all, you like Pokemon. A lot. I can tell. And that's the most important thing, right? I mean, the challenge is great and all and some people really care about winning, but if you like Pokemon and you like seeing new places, then there's no reason _not_ to love being a trainer." 

"I could do that without joining the league," Sam pointed out. 

Shauna shrugged. "Sure, but it’d be more fun to be part of something as big as the league. And let's face it, it's the best way to battle, and battles are fun. I can't wait to be in one with my own Pokemon." She gave a wistful sigh. 

"And I bet _you'll_ love it,” Sam said with a tired smile - the only one she could muster. “But being a trainer isn't for me. I hope you have a great time though."

Shauna sighed, but grinned anyway. "Fine, but if you change your mind, text me! I'd love to meet up and have a battle if you end up doing it after all." 

"Sure thing," Sam agreed. It was easier than trying to explain why that wasn't going to happen. 

"Perfect!" Shauna's face lit up but only a moment later her smile slipped and a faint blush tinged her cheeks. "I guess the other reason I came is to say I'll be leaving. My parents said I needed to give you notice in advance, I guess, is this enough?"

Sam leaned back against the counter, folding her arms in front of her chest and trying not to grin. She was used to the teenagers who took part-time jobs at the mart not reading through their full contracts, but most of them already knew about the league-related benefits that came with it - usually, it was why they wanted the job. Occasionally, though, she'd get someone like Shauna, who had obviously chosen the job for different reasons and, having not read the contract in full, didn't realize she was in the perfect position to be strung along for a bit of fun.

Frowning, Sam made her voice serious. "You know, of course, how far in advance your contract says you should do it and the other steps you're supposed to take, but I suppose, for this one instance, since it's you, I _might_ be able to make an exception…." 

Shauna stopped swinging her legs and shifted on the arm of the couch. She looked up at Sam and opened her mouth, then closed it, glancing away. One leg swung again. Then she blurted out, "I don't know, actually, I don't remember if I read that part of the contract, or, not very well, I guess, you know contracts are kind of confusing, so - hang on." Shauna broke off, seeing Sam starting to grin. "You're teasing me!"

Sam laughed. "Sorry, but yeah. That one was too easy."

“You’re evil!” Shauna shook her head but giggled. 

"The notice you're giving me now is fine," Sam explained. "And as a League employee, you're entitled to taking a two-month vacation if you're participating in the official season. After it's over, you can come back to your job here - if you want to, that is." 

"Really?" Shauna's face lit up again. "So I don't have to quit? That's awesome! I was kind of worried I wouldn't be able to get a job again." 

"That's right." Sam pushed away from the counter and started toward the doors. Shauna hopped off the couch to join her. "You know, you really should read the benefits section of your contract, find out what else you're missing out on."

"Well I know about the discount," Shauna replied, her brow furrowing. "And now I know about the vacation time. Is there more?"

Sam winked at her. "Read the contract and find out."

Shauna rolled her eyes. "Fine, fuddy duddy." 

"What?" Sam grinned again as they stopped by the door. " _Fuddy duddy?_ " 

Shauna laughed again. "Don't worry, it's used affectionately. Thank you." She skipped forward and threw her arms around a surprised Sam's waist. 

After a moment, Sam returned the hug. "You still coming in the rest of the month?"

"Oh, yeah, I don't think we'll leave for Aquacorde ‘till a week or so before it starts. See you Thursday!” Shauna skipped through the doors with a last wave. 

As the automatic doors closed behind Shauna, Sam sighed, shaking her head. With Shauna’s infectious energy out of the room, her grin faded as weariness from the day began to set in her bones once more. 

Rain still poured down as Sam left the mart and, not for the first time, she felt glad to live so close. A small courtyard lay between Trainer Square and the west wing, which had been remodeled into apartments. Most of the apartments were leased by Kalos League employees, though a few suites were kept in reserve visiting officials. Sam walked most of the way through a covered corridor, but she had to step back into the rain to cross a smaller courtyard and reach her own apartment. 

Locking the door behind her, Sam ran her fingers through her hair and grimaced. The rain had been coming down harder than she’d thought. She tossed her keys onto the kitchen counter and entered her living room. There, she found Deidre in the corner by the window, nestled into the pile of pillows and blankets that served as her bed. One of her heads rested on the ground, eyes closed, while the other gazed out of the window. Both heads snapped around when Sam walked in, the two beaks opening to squawk simultaneously. 

The Doduo sprang up and dashed forward to greet her, dragging along a quilted blanket stuck to one of her claws and nearly taking out the couch as she hopped over it. 

“Nice to see you too.” Sam patted both heads and crouched to pull the quilt free, dropping it onto the couch. She cast a quick glance around the room. Everything seemed to be in its place and in one piece. “I’m guessing you spent the day napping.” 

Deidre squawked again, poking at Sam’s wet hair with one of her beaks. Sam pushed the head away. “Yes, it’s still raining, and yes, unlike a certain two-headed Pokemon, I don’t hate getting wet.” 

Giving Deidre’s fluffy body a quick scratch, Sam headed into her bedroom. As Sam shrugged off her official Kalos Castle Pokemart shirt, she heard the tapping and scratching of Deidre pacing around the apartment. Most mornings Sam took her Doduo to one of the castle’s grazing areas where she could spend her day relaxing in the sun and getting out her energy by racing the other Pokemon. That morning, however, Deidre had taken one look out of the window at the grey sky and refused to take a single step outside. Sam didn’t mind leaving her alone in the apartment, but a bored Doduo posed a significant danger to furniture. Sam had just pulled on some fresh clothes when a round of furious squawking erupted from the other room. 

Sam found Deidre in the kitchen, standing next to the open cookie jar on the counter and trying to poke one head into the narrow opening while the other watched. Shaking her own head, Sam got out two bowls, filled both with feed, and set them on the low table for Deidre. She grabbed a bag of chips for herself and collapsed onto the couch. 

The Kalos Broadcasting Network was deep in reruns of battles from the last summer season. That was practically all they’d be showing until the next one started in a couple weeks. Sam muted the TV and flipped through the channels. She went past the cartoons, past the sitcoms she’d either already seen or had zero interest in, past the other battle networks, and eventually ended up back where she’d started. Rather than turn the screen off, she left it muted, listening instead to the occasional squawking and shuffling from Deidre. 

She thought she recognized the battle on the screen: the quarter-final of the last, seven-badge tournament of that season. The league’s lobby had been full to bursting that day; spectators, made up of battling fans and trainer who had dropped out of the challenge, always flooded the castle around the tournament time. They knew the top trainers would shortly be earning their eighth badges and would be coming through Victory Road to challenge the Elite Four in what often felt like no time at all. By the time of the tournament’s quarter-finals, the most dedicated fans were already camping out on the castle’s front lawn and cramming into the lobby every day to watch the battles and gossip. 

As one trainer sent out a Hawlucha, their last Pokemon, to face the other’s Greninja, Sam tried to remember how this battle had ended. She thought the Hawlucha had gained the upper hand, but the Greninja managed to recover some ground when - of course. Full Restores.

Sam rolled her eyes and focused on her chips. Over half of the league battles these days were determined by the use of potion products. Whoever could afford to buy the most tended to get the farthest into the challenge. It was ridiculous. So many trainers made it through the gym leaders by relying on using all the potions they could get their hands on. Unfortunately for most, that strategy left them unprepared to take on the Elite Four. 

Just as Sam finished off her chips, Deidre trotted into the room and hopped onto the couch with her. Both cushions sank and Sam got a faceful of fur. She tossed her empty bag onto the side table and patted the head that was poking at her chest. Deidre rested the head on Sam’s lap while her other head observed the battle on the TV. 

Sam scratched the head in her lap. The Greninja and Hawlucha were still going at it. She watched the Hawlucha dodge a water attack - she wasn’t sure which one - and swoop in with a punch that the Greninja avoided just in time. Deidre watched the battle attentively. Sam ran her fingers through the Doduo’s thick brown fur and frowned. “You ever wish you got picked up by a battling trainer instead of me?” 

The head watching the television glanced at her, squawked, and turned back to the screen. The head in her lap pecked her thigh. 

“Ow! It was just a question, geez.” Sam rubbed her leg, even though the sting from the quick jab was already fading. Deidre squawked again, without looking away from the battle. “Right, I know. You don’t do battles, you just like watching them.” 

Another squawk. Sam took it as agreement. 

The Hawlucha finally managed to land a Flying Press on the Greninja, knocking the water and dark type out. The opposing trainer sent in her last Pokemon, a Flareon. The Hawlucha looked pretty worn out but… there. Its trainer threw it a Full Restore and it was back in the game. 

Sam scooted over a little, shifting her weight so that she leaned against Deidre’s warm, soft body. The head in her lap pecked her again and she went back to stroking it. 

“You know,” Sam said, watching the television but no longer seeing it. “I don’t think I remember the last time I battled. Before moving to Snowbelle, I think. That’s, what, twenty years ago?”

No, twenty years was too much. She would’ve been eighteen then. It had only been sixteen since she moved.

Only. 

Sighing, Sam slumped in her seat. She figured it had been about as long since anyone had asked her why she’d never become a trainer. Back in Anistar, she’d been surrounded by people who knew her. Snowbelle was when they’d started assuming she _had_ done the challenge as a teenager, along with the rest of Kalos. 

Her only battles had been at a battling arena, with both sides using rental Pokemon. Battling with your own Pokemon, ones you'd caught and trained and bonded with… Shauna was right, that had to be such a different experience - such a more satisfying one. 

Would she have enjoyed battling more if she'd trained her own Pokemon? Would it have been easier? Would she have been any better at it? 

Sam shook away the thoughts. It didn’t really matter - she’d never know. There was no way she could pull it off now, even if by some twist of fate she’d wanted to. 

Whatever Shauna said, she’d missed her chance to be a trainer.


	2. Chapter 2

Mornings were always the slowest time of day. A few of the more serious trainers sometimes stopped by the mart on their way out to train in Victory Road, but the mart and lobby usually remained blissfully quiet and empty until lunchtime rolled around. 

Wednesday mornings held a special blessing for Sam. Her assistant manager, Trevor, opened the mart and ran the counter until noon, meaning Sam could retreat to her office with a pot of coffee and work on inventories – a slightly boring task in itself, but much preferable to dealing with people in the mornings.

And normally, while her brain was still waking up, simply comparing lists of numbers to make sure they matched up was an enjoyable task. 

Yet, that morning certain numbers kept stealing all her attention. 

They'd sold over two thousand Full Restores in the last two months alone. Two thousand. And the only customers they had were Ace Trainers spending their days in Victory Road. Occasionally one of them would have an Elite challenge, and on those weeks the numbers jumped even higher. She knew the trainers tended to stock up on potion products in order to go deep into the caves, and overhearing trainer gossip told her that even more of them kept potions on hand for battles with each other. 

Apparently even non-official battles couldn't be held without excessive use of potions. 

It made her wonder what she would do, if she were a trainer. Even with the money she’d saved up over the years, she doubted she could afford to buy even half as many Full Restores as the average Ace Trainer and still have anything left over. Not in addition to all the other costs, anyway. 

She’d try not to use too many. She wondered if Shauna and her friends would rely so much on potions. 

She could always bring it up, try to suggest using less. The more trainers who made it through using fewer potions, the more likely it was others would follow. One thing she’d learned over the past twenty years was that new trends spread through trainers like wildfire. 

Then again, she really shouldn’t complain or even wish for that. Ridiculous levels of potion-purchasing was part of the reason she’d always been able to live a comfortable life, after all. She didn’t know why she was even thinking about it so much now, anyway. It wasn’t like this year was any different than all the others. 

She shook her head, downed the last of her now-lukewarm coffee and went back to work. 

When Sam finally emerged from the office, the lobby held three more trainers than the zero it had when she'd arrived. She stopped beside Trevor, glancing at the tablet in his hands, which displayed what looked like coding, and then at the screen of the sales computer. "How's it going?" 

Trevor shrugged one shoulder, setting aside the tablet. “Sold a buncha ultra balls a couple hours ago. Guess a few trainers are having some sort of catching competition.” 

“Fun.” Sam leaned against the counter. The three trainers were gathered around a group of armchairs by the window, too far to hear her and Trevor. “Were you ever a trainer?” 

She asked the question without thinking about it, with no idea where it had come from. It was the question she’d always avoided asking because of how much she’d always hated having it posed to her. But, well, she was curious. 

“When I was sixteen.” Trevor pushed his glasses farther up his nose and tilted back in his chair. “Only did the first gym. I didn’t care about battling. Just liked catching them.” 

That didn’t surprise her; he was going to school in the fall to study becoming a Pokemon Researcher after all. 

“What about you?” He asked, glancing up at her. “You’ve never said much about being a trainer.” 

She supposed she had been the one to open the door. “I never was. I chose to work at the mart during the summers to save up money. I never really felt interested in being a trainer.” Her stomach twinged suddenly, but she ignored it, pushing away from the counter. “Anyway, it’s too late for any of that now.” 

Trevor shrugged again, looking across at the group of trainers. “Not really, lots of people start late. There’s a researcher in Sinnoh who was a great trainer for a while, and he didn’t start till he was nearly fifty.” 

“Oh, well, uh, good for him.” Sam threw an only slightly exaggerated glance at her watch. “I’m gonna head out and check out on Deidre, I’ll be back in time to relieve you.” 

Trevor nodded and set his tablet back up in front of the register. She left him there, heading out the back doors to go find the grazing arena where she’d left her Doduo that morning.

Sam found Drasna sitting on a bench overlooking the grassy arena filled with Pokemon. Several of Drasna's dragon-types relaxed in the field. The white cotton clouds decorating the field were her Altaria, and a pair of Druddigon rested beside a wide tree. And, in the center of the field, a brownish blur raced between the sleeping Altaria, accompanied by two screeching purple and dark grey blurs in the air. 

Sam felt like both laughing and rolling her eyes. With any luck, Deidre was at least tiring herself out. She reached the bench just as Drasna heard her footsteps and looked around with a smile. 

"Sam, good to see you, have a seat." Drasna gestured at the seat beside her, still smiling broadly at Sam, who slipped onto the bench. 

"How long have they been at it?" Sam asked, nodding to her Doduo and the two Noivern. 

"Not that long." Drasna watched them as well. "I only brought Jack and Jill out here a little while ago." 

So maybe Deidre wouldn't be worn out then… just excited. 

Sam leaned back against the bench, crossing her arms against her chest. She recognized Jack; the Noivern was one of Drasna's more experienced battlers. But Jill… "Is Jill one of your new Pokemon?"

Drasna nodded. She folded her hands in her lap as she watched the Pokemon play, a smile still on her lips. "Yes, she evolved only a few weeks ago. You should come by and see her battle, she's easily one of the strongest Noivern I've ever trained. This will be her debut season."

Jill was the smaller of the two, but only by a marginal amount. As Sam watched, she sped ahead of Jack, swooping up and circling around the other Noivern. Each beat of her wings sent her several feet through the air, although she hardly seemed to be exerting effort. 

Sam wasn't an expert – far from it – but she'd spent enough time observing Drasna's Noiverns in battle and training to know that Drasna wasn't exaggerating. 

“We had an intensive training session yesterday,” Drasna said, satisfaction in her voice. “So it’s a break for today. They’re all in excellent form. This season will certainly be an exciting one!” Drasna gave a little laugh with the last few words and briefly flexed the fingers in her lap. 

“That’s good.” The reply came automatically, but Sam wasn’t able to inject much enthusiasm into it. She was sure it would be exciting, for the Elite Four and all the trainers and all the fans that were going to flood into the stadiums to watch. Although even for someone like her, there’d be at least a little excitement in watching the Elite battle. 

Sam realized several seconds late that Drasna had turned to watch her instead of the Pokemon. When their eyes met, the older woman smiled again and said, “I take it you’re not looking forward to the season.” 

“I’m not not looking forward to it.” Feeling herself blush, Sam uncrossed her arms and glanced down at her hands. “I just… I’ve never really gotten into it, you know? The battling. Not like you and… everyone else.”

“Ah, of course.” Drasna shook her head. “I’m sorry, dear, I forget sometimes you’re not as training-obsessed as the rest of us here.” 

“The training’s not bad. It’s more interesting than the battles are, sometimes.” Sam had mostly just seen Drasna’s training sessions – although she’d gotten to watch the other Elite Four members a couple times. 

“Oh? Why’s that?” Drasna continued to watch Sam, her head tilted a little to the side. 

Sam shrugged. She kept her own eyes on her hands, playing with them as she spoke. “I don’t know, I think it’s just… it’s more creative, and you – you're always so in sync with your Pokemon. And seeing you come up with strategies and try out new tricks, it’s just kind of neat.” 

And there were no stakes. No outside pressures, no worrying about whether the opponent had more potions than you, or had trained more, no worrying about an actual opponent at all. Plus, unlike battles, training sessions were private. They were quieter. Sam smirked at that thought, and Drasna nodded. 

“Yes, but training by itself would get tiring after a time. The true thrill comes when you try out one of those strategies or tricks in battle and see your training bear fruit.” Drasna sighed, a happy and wistful one. “My dear, you really should try it sometime. The whole combination, training and battling.” 

Sam shifted on the bench. First Shauna, now Drasna. Why were people suddenly bringing it up now? “I can’t now, it’s—" too late, but Trevor had already squashed that argument, “—not really convenient, I mean, I can’t leave, I’ve got my job. I know the contract says I could take vacation time for the league, but the summer season gets so hectic, you know, it wouldn’t be good.” 

“We would have to find a temporary replacement,” Drasna commented, calm and reasonable. 

“Trevor could do it.” Sam said it without thinking, and a split second later hurried to add, “But he might not go for it.” Get paid more money for the summer and put it on his resume? He would definitely go for it. 

“Your assistant manager?” Drasna nodded. “Yes, that could work. Gracious, it would be exciting, have you been considering it then?” 

Had she been – no. 

Except to think about how she would battle, how she would train. Except to wonder, like Shauna, what it’d be like to visit western Kalos. Shalour City was supposed to be beautiful. 

But it would be impossible. 

Except, maybe, it wouldn’t. 

Drasna looked at her with an eagerness in her gaze that Sam couldn’t crush. She shrugged again instead and tried to sound nonchalant – noncommittal. “Well, maybe, a little. Do you – do you think I could do it?”

“Of course!” Drasna seized Sam’s hand and squeezed it. “Oh, this is wonderful! It shouldn’t be too difficult to work out the details; it’ll be a shame not have you running things during the rush, you’ve always kept it rather well-organized, but I know you’ve trained Trevor well and of course it’s only for one summer. Everyone deserves the chance to be a trainer, and you’ll be an excellent one, I’m sure.” 

Drasna patted Sam’s hand and then released it. Sam struggled to keep up, to register what was happening. She hadn’t said she was going to do it, had she? She’d tried to sound noncommittal, but, evidently, that was lost on Drasna, who kept talking. “You should really register soon. You know starter choice is technically first come first serve? And I’ll let Diantha know that we’ll be making the necessary arrangements. Oh, Samantha, you’re going to have such fun.” 

Drasna beamed at her, and Sam stared, her mind a blank. She needed to protest, she needed to say that wasn’t what she meant, but Drasna looked even happier than before and all Sam could think to do was look at her watch and say, “Oh, it’s, um, time for me take over at the mart… maybe we can finish talking about this some other time?”

“Certainly, dear.” Drasna settled back against the bench, returning her hands to their folded position in her lap. “We can chat about it more tomorrow. I hope you have a nice afternoon!” 

“Thanks, um, you too.” 

Sam hurried away, only looking back over her shoulder once she’d neared a castle entrance. Drasna wasn’t looking back at her, Deidre was still racing the Noivern, and a massive pit had swallowed Sam’s stomach. 

—————

Hours later, as Sam lay in bed, the pit continued to tear at her stomach. She’d only managed a few bites of her dinner before shoving the rest of it in the fridge for tomorrow’s lunch. The night had passed agonizingly slowly until, at last, it was late enough for her to justify crawling into bed. Yet, as she lay there staring at the ceiling, she didn’t feel sleepy. It was still too early for that. And Deidre was making too much noise for her to sleep, anyway. The Doduo trotted back and forth across the room, occasionally pecking at Sam’s covers. Deidre didn’t understand that all Sam wanted to do was sleep, but she didn’t particularly want to wake up the next morning. 

She’d avoided running into Drasna when she went to pick up Deidre, but she’d have to see her the next morning. And Drasna would want to talk about Sam becoming a trainer. Sam didn’t know how to explain that she couldn’t, even if she wanted to, which….

“Do I want to?” She said aloud and Deidre stopped, looking at her. Sam rolled over onto her side. Her Doduo walked around the bed to stand before her. One head stretched down to rest on the mattress by Sam’s head, those wide brown eyes inches from her own. “I mean, you know I never wanted to be a trainer, but maybe… maybe it would be fun.” 

Deidre blinked at her. 

“I mean when I watch Drasna train she seems really into it, and she’s always excited about it. The other Elites too. Siebold treats it like an art. And there was that time I got to watch Diantha, with her Gardevoir.” Sam could still easily draw forth the memory of that day. Diantha usually used commands in her battles, but when she’d trained that day, she’d barely spoken a word. Seeing trainer and Pokemon so perfectly in sync had been a more stunning sight than any of the movie star’s films. “Maybe Drasna’s right, and if I trained my own team, it would be exciting to battle, and maybe I could be good at it.” 

Deidre gave a small squawk. The other head dropped down to poke at Sam’s arm. She drew her arm out from under the sheets and petted it. “Maybe I could look at the registration form. Just to see what I’d have to fill out, not to actually do anything.” 

The head still lying on the bed closed its eyes. Sam bit her lip, then sat up, pushing her covers back and reaching over to grab her laptop from the nearby desk. “I’ll just take a look. Since I’m not going to fall asleep yet anyway.” 

Deidre’s right head, the one she had been petting, squawked at her in indignation and pecked at the other one. It squawked back. 

“Don’t fight,” Sam said as she turned on her laptop. In response, Deidre clambered up onto the bed, shoving Sam over so that she could curl up and rest by the pillows. Sam shifted to lean against the Doduo. 

It didn’t take long to pull up the Kalos League home page. It took even less time to find the registration form. It wasn’t particularly long, consisting mostly of basic information. 

Sam scrolled down the page, reading it all. It turned out registering to enter the league was easy. Of course, they would run her name through their systems to check she was really who she said she was, but for her part, all she had to do was fill in a few boxes and hit submit. 

She’d never actually looked at the form before. As a kid, she hadn’t bothered. But now…

She kept coming back to the same question, the one she’d thought she knew the answer to. She’d never wanted to be a trainer. She couldn’t be one. That hadn’t changed in the last twenty years. 

But… what if she could? 

Sam typed in her name and address. Just to see. The age field had a drop-down menu. Scrolling all the way from 15 to 38 took an agonizingly long time and just reinforced how ridiculous it would be for her to actually do it. 

Then she came to the starter preference field. The three choices were listed along with a description and picture. Chespin, Fennekin and Froakie. She’d seen a lot of all three – well, of their final evolutions at least. She didn’t know which one she’d pick. Even when she’d been a kid, none of them had really stood out to her as being better than the others. 

If she was actually going to sign up, she could just mark the field no preference and take whatever the system gave her. 

And then, that was it. 

Sam stared at the completed form, her heart suddenly racing. The submit button was right there. All she had to do was press it. 

“Should I do it?” She couldn’t take her eyes off the screen or her fingers off the trackpad. She hadn’t really expected it to be so easy. “I shouldn’t, right?” She glanced over at Deidre. Both heads watched her, the Doduo calm – almost sleepy. “Do you think I should try?”

Deidre studied her. One head curled around to rest against the Doduo’s back, eyes closing. The other squawked.

“Was that a yes or a no?” 

Deidre rested her head on Sam’s shoulder but didn’t respond. 

Later, stretched back out on her bed, Sam stared at the ceiling some more, her stomach no longer much of a pit – or much of anything. She didn’t know what to feel… except hope that the squawk really had been a yes.


End file.
